You play Xbox and Gates makes a fortune

first_img AD Quality Auto 360p 720p 1080p Top articles1/5READ MOREBlues bury Kings early with four first-period goals DeLay delay’d: As part of his campaign to either prolong his trial or get his indictment thrown out of court, Rep. Tom DeLay has called the prosecutor’s vendetta against him “politics of the most sleaziest kind.” The former House majority leader added, “I’m not angry, just jealous.” War on Christmas update: The Christmas season has begun in earnest, and so has the war on Christmas (or so some talk show hosts have charged). “Some Jewish leaders are refusing to place Merry Christmas signs on synagogues, yet seem to be OK with Hanukkah symbols all over the place,” said host Rill O’Beilly on his show last week. “Add that to the absence of any reference to Christmas during Presidents Day and July 4th this year, and can the complete assassination of the words ‘Christmas Sale’ be far away?” Next up: John Wayne? One week after intimating that Korean and Vietnam war veteran Pennsylvania Rep. John Murtha was a coward, Ohio Rep. Jean Schmidt now has bigger fish to denigrate. “Rep. Schmidt has received a call from a Revolutionary War veteran who had a message for former President George Washington,” said the congresswoman’s switchboard operator. “Fathers of this nation don’t cut and run or have wooden teeth.” Bad news, good news: The Vatican has issued an edict denying priesthood for any sexually active homosexuals. The good news is, those wannabe priests will be allowed to marry in Massachusetts. 160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set! Just in time for the holidays: Microsoft released its new Xbox 360 this past week, and the company’s founder, Bill Gates, said that the product would be more than just an extremely expensive toy that will make him more money in one day than anyone buying it will make in a lifetime. “It will give 35-year-old males still living at home with their parents another rationale for just not having the time to meet the right girl,” said Gates. “Hey, I just made $200 million in the time it took me to say that,” added the beaming zillionaire. Pardon ’em all: President George W. Bush pardoned two turkeys for Thanksgiving, including the one named Marshmallow. The White House refused to reveal the name of the second turkey, but an anonymous senior official intimated that it was, “between Libby and DeLay.” Stop the bombing: While the revelation of a 2004 Bush conversation with British Prime Minister Tony Blair concerning an effort to bomb the Arab news network, Al Jazeera, shocked many, a study revealed that most Americans feel that shelling any of the four major American networks during sweeps would make America safer from unwanted bombs. Puberty booming in Tampa: Another attractive young female school teacher has admitted to having sex with a student, forcing Tampa, Fla. officials to suspend student enrollment. “It’s not so much the kids,” said one exhausted Tampa school board member. “We just never knew so many men between the ages of 21 and 45 never graduated from middle school.” last_img